The Letter
by Trivher
Summary: Molly finds a letter on her pillow that turns her completly upside down.
1. Chapter 1

Wow it sure has been a long while since I have been here. I just hope there are people out there who can still recall the happiness and wonderful feelings that So Weird brought us all. The show might be dead, but I know it shall live on in my heart forever (long with some a few eps saved on video tape). I hope it lives on in your hearts, as well. Now join me on a journey down memory lane. But please stay on the path it can be a bit dangerous out there. Oh yeah it should go without saying that I don't own the right to any of the characters or the show itself (because if I did it would still be airing)

"Good night Annie have pleasant dreams." I whisper to my blond headed charge in the hallway of our unfashionable bus; careful not to disturb Jack who is sleeping in the room my back is against. The show tonight was good in a few aspects and bad a few others. The good part was that the performance went well, no foul up were made by anyone. The response we received from the audience was quite heartwarming and generous. The bad element it was the size of the audience. Ticket sales aren't what had estimated or hoped it would be. It's a double-edged sword, we can't get more tickets sold unless we adverse more of this tour; and we can't do this unless we have the money do so; and that comes from ticket revenue. A vicious perfectly drawn circle and the eraser to make a new path is missing.

I retreat into my miniature haven of escape also known as my room, the Sandman tapping me on the shoulder to inform me that sleep would be more than wonderful. Locking the door behind me, a habit that is completely unnecessary, but it's called a habit for a reason. I remove my shirt and toss it on to the foot of the bed, if I caught either Jack or Fiona, and Annie as well doing the same with their clothes I would of have scolded them and insist that they find a more suitable place to put it. Being an adult the rules sometimes don't apply to you in same level. My glance falls onto the head of the bed on top of the pillow to be more accurate, to find a letter with my name written on it, waiting to be read.

Picking it up wondering why the author didn't just talk to me face to face; there are only few people who could have placed this here. I slide my finger underneath the sealed flap to open up the mystery awaiting me. A letter, I sit down on the bed and start to read the words.

Dear Molly,

As I write these words I am well aware of the unchangeable mistake I am about to make. With these words all will change for me in sadly not a good way. For I am aware you will regard me as a foolish child still trying to learn the difference between infatuation and love. I am not a child. I do understand the difference, and with that I have to inform you that I am in love with you. I tried to ignore this for the longest time, tried to convince myself it wasn't true; though the harder I fight it the more intense the feelings become. I can't count the moments I wanted to touch you, hold you, and kiss you. It takes all my control not to every moment you appear in my sights. I would dart in front of a bullet, jump off a cliff, anything for you no matter the pain or even death it could bring to me. I understand that you don't feel the same for me. I have already accepted that. But I had to tell you. I had to let my feelings out in some form or another before I went completely mad. Just do me a favor, and don't break my soul. Don't mention this letter to me, don't tell me. "That's sweet but I don't feel the same." because I know I couldn't take the pain. And to make things easier for myself soon as the tour has ended I will resign as your guitarist.

Sincerely with all my love Carey.

I reread the words over and over. Unsure if they are really here placed on my hand. Carey? In love with me? A mix match of emotions floods my mind each trying to compete with the other. Pity for him to feel this way; touched because he does care; excitement for a situation so unexpected; anger towards him for telling me this; and happiness. The last one I am unable to explain still there it is. I am happy because he loves me? Happy because though misguided as his thoughts might be he followed his heart? I sigh stand and finish changing into my clothes for sleep, still trying to make an understanding of this all.

He's too young. He's one of Jack's best friends. He is my daughter's secret crush. He is the son of two of my closet friends. I keep repeating all of that to myself. More than enough reason to know that this entire situation is more than foolish it's nearly insane. I smile at the darkened ceiling of thoughts I know aren't right and should be stopped instantly. He's sweet. He's generous. He is also one hell of a musician. He has an ability to make me smile without even trying. He is damn good looking to boot.

"Damn you Carey." I listen to my words filling the room. Now here comes another emotion, rage. How dare he tell me this! I can't do a blessed damn thing. I can't tell him he's a foolish little boy; nor would I want to. I can't tell him I feel the same because I don't… I can't. Does he have any idea what is letter would have done to me? With his peace of mind comes the slow destruction of my own. I need to get out of here. For a walk perhaps to clear my mind from all of this. Not bothering to put something more appropriate on for an outside venture, I decide my robe will be more than enough.

Slowly I slide open the door to make sure it's old standard sweak doesn't fill the narrow hallway and awake anybody. Still remaining quiet as possible I make my way to the main area of the bus, my eyes falling upon the back of his head. I can't tell if he's asleep or not. It's a common occurrence for Carey to fall asleep on the couch while reading through one of his musician magazines. I am unsure of what direction to continue walking in. If I keep on going forward there is a chance I'd have to face him. I am not prepared to pretend nothing was said or in this case written. I could return to my room, than my nervous energy will be unable to have an opportunity to escape.

"How long are you going to stand there?" I jump and let a yelp fall from my mouth at the sound of Carey's voice. I suppose I wasn't as quiet as I thought I had been. He turns to face me staring at me in a way I have never experienced before. Not even sure if it's good or bad. I smile sincerely as I can manage, my heart pounding as my mind still wonders what is going to be said or done.

"I was trying to decide if I wanted to take a walk or not." I tell him as I step forward.

"It's a bit late don't you think?"

"Not that late plus I was planning on sticking close to the bus." Wait why in the hell am I explaining myself to him? It shouldn't be any of his business of when, where, or why I go somewhere.

"Fine, but you should at least put something on your feet, pink fussy slippers perhaps." I drop my head down to discover my completely bare feet I feel my face change hues in embarrassment.

"Damn I think I left those in Texas last month, I do have a pair with Kermit the Frog, would those work?" He laughs softly and shrugs his shoulders in a response of sorts. I almost forgot how heart warming his laugh could be. What? It was becoming difficult to comprehend the thoughts that kept spinning around. Without saying a word I return to the room and slide my feet into the amphibians giant head.

"Now is this more suitable?" I ask softly as I reappear in his line of vision. He looks me up and down and nods his approval.

"Hopefully you won't be arrested for strange and suspicious behavior. Just one look at that um…wonderful outfit they'll throw you straight into the looney bin." Carey informs me as he walks towards the cupboard only to open it, stare at the various bags of treats, and close it without selecting one.

"You should get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning." With those words I walk off the bus into the hot summer night, listening to an owl hoot in the near by distance.


	2. Chapter 2

Onto chapter 2, if you need a reminder of the disclaimer please direct your attention to chapter 1, thank you.

I begin to slam my head against the cabinet door as she departs from the bus. I just had to do it didn't I? I couldn't be one of those people who successfully bottle up their feelings for years and sometimes even an entire lifetime. No I just had to write to that stupid letter and place it on her pillow earlier this evening as she talked to my mom. I had several chances to sneak in there and remove it, to save me from the embarrassment. Atlas I didn't, frankly I have no idea why. Nor do I know what I was excepting to hear from her in response. Was it her laughter filling the bus? Her rushing towards me declaring she felt the same? Or worse of all the thing I had mentioned that would scar me more than it all, pity? I just don't know.

Now would begin awkward silences, staring at each other afraid of what the other might be thinking, or not thinking about. She would soon start avoiding me afraid I might do. How could she not! Dear God she used to baby-sit me! If anyone needs to take up resistance in a mental home it should be me. For the thoughts and the ability of not being able to keep my damn mouth closed. "Way to go Carey." I say to the wall as I sink down into the chair, staring at the closed window blinds.

I am not sure at what moment my feelings turned into love, it just happened without my permission or even knowledge. Just one day it was no longer Molly Phillips wonderful musician whom I have a crush on, it became Molly Phillips the wonderful woman I loved and would kill for. I tried to ignore the feelings, attempted to bury them deep in the ground in hopes they had never really been there to begin with. It didn't help, if anything it made the emotion grow. Along with anguish of knowing nothing could ever come to be. Only in my dreams.

Glancing at my watch I discover it's 11:48 if I know my mother as well as I think I do she'll have us up at 6:30 to start traveling. Whenever my dad isn't here to drive the bus our timetable schedule does a near 360-degree change. She being an early riser and traveler, while he prefers to cover more traveling at night and rest during the morning and early afternoon. Remembering Molly's words to get some sleep a true and logical statement to make, but how can I sleep after what I did? It will be a miracle if I ever sleep again.

I can't remain here forever I think to myself, it would be too uneasy for her to find me waiting as she returns from her walk. Gingerly I get up and make my way to mine and Jack's room sliding the door open careful not awaken him. A smile comes to face when I think of what his reaction could possibly be if he ever found out about the letter and all of my feelings. None of the scenarios are good. Nothing of this is good, and it's all of my fault.


	3. Chapter 3

It is time for Chapter 3. Please remove your shoes before entering and enjoy the show.

I quietly reenter the bus, feeling the burning sensation on my leg from the half dozen mosquito bits. Happy to discover the common area along with the kitchen is empty from any souls besides my own. Taking that walk did nothing to smooth the anxious whirlwind of emotions, if anything they started to expand in size. Much like the fear one experiences as a young child when they break a vase sitting on the shelf, afraid of admitting you did it, afraid not to say anything. Knowing any moment you'll be caught with nowhere to escape to. And I didn't even do anything this time! I come to my room on the furthest end of the bus suddenly knocked by a wave of tiredness I strip off the robe and Kermit falling into bed again sleep over powers me in matter of moments.

"Mom time to get up." I try my best to get my ears to stop working at the sound of Jack's voice leaking through the door. Lifting up my head to appear over at the clock, 6:45 damn Irene. Not only did she have to fuck our schedules around she made sure were all awake during the drive. Her reasoning? God only knows. All it does is fill the day with boredom full of card games and movies we have watched a good dozen times.

"Alright I'm up I'll be out in a few minutes." With those words I hear the sound of his feet walking down the hallway, likely to grab something for breakfast. Annie always being an early riser had properly emptied the box of Cheerios though Jack had specifically requested she leave it for him. But since when do teenagers listen to anyone? Irene I am sure is on the phone giving the world unwanted wake up calls to make sure everything on the schedule and the route is good to go. While as for Carey I am fairly confident when I say he's lying in his bed staring at the ceiling trying to create enough mondiam to get up, much like myself.

"Annie! What the hell is wrong with you?" Great what everyone wishes for first in the morning, bickering! It's wonderful to know my predication was right. Sighing while harshly yanking the covers off of my body and sit up all the while listening to Annie's response to Jack's question; the volume slowly increasing with each word. I make way over to the bureau dresser pulling out a semi-crappy outfit to lounge around in. We won't arrive at the venue or the hotel for at least six and half-hours, which meant six and half-hours until a shower. Thank God for deodorant and other various body sprays. Completely dressed I leave the room, the disagreement between the two still brewing strong.

"Jack just eat the Wheaties and I'll make sure to buy a few more boxes of the other at the next venue, okay?" It was hardly a question I had asked it while tossing the box of champions across to him, and left his general area before he could respond. Judging by the mutters of protest and general sulkiness followed by the sound of the food hitting the bowel he accepted the agreement of sorts.

"Oh and Annie?" I call out from the cab of bus as I looked down at Irene's clipboard that she held.

"Yeah what is it Molly?"

"You are banned from the next box of Cheerios, if I or anyone catches you eating any without permission first you will be grounded for two days."

"What? That's not fair!" Echoed by the sound of Jack's cackling of twisted satisfaction. Hey the girl did hog the cereal it'll be one way to correctly teach her how to share, plus it's too damn early to think completely logically. Finding myself too tired and unwilling to explain my reasons to Annie or to lecture Jack on impolite behavior I just ignore it, and keep on reading. The interee is actually the same as it was last evening when Irene and I discussed it. I don't know if I was hoping it had by some miracle had changed or what but it certainly hadn't.

I catch Carey from the corner off my eye he's trapped somewhere between asleep and awake, and his body was at war for one to over power the other. He throws himself down the couch right onto the remote.

"Ouch! Damn it!" He curses while removing the object from underneath him, and with that the final victor became awake. Taking no notice of the teasing laughter from the two at the kitchen table and his mom's annoyed look he sits down again, this time looking first. Catch myself holding back a sincere smile, something a few hours prior I would not have done, I would laughed right out loud teasing him gently the same as Jack and Annie. Now it's different, afraid he'd take my reaction as some kind of flirting. Oh hell I really don't know, it just doesn't feel right, nothing does.

"Mom, Carey want to play a game of monopoly with us?" Jack calls out for the two of us, as Irene turns the key in the ignition. Carey shrugs sure in response while standing, again and taking a sit next to Annie. Having nothing else to do I nod and join them by sitting by Jack. We all decide upon our tokens Annie the top hat, Carey the shoe, Jack the money bag, and for myself the Scotch dog. The game begins as the bus pulls out onto the open road.


	4. Chapter 4

Sound the trumpets! Bang those drums! For it is time for the wondrous known the world over as chapter four. Enjoy.

"Too rich for my blood, I'm out." Annie tells Jack after he announced the amount she owed after landing on his Park Place with its lovely hotel on top of it. Once again, just like all the other times we play this game Jack managed to dominate control.

"Same with me honey, I think now would be a good point to call it a game. After all we have been playing for over two hours." Had it really been that long? Even though I believed the words Molly spoke I still look down at my watch 9:15. Wow time does fly when you have something of somewhat entertaining value to focus your energy on. I listen to everyone else and my self-included give various responses of agreement. Annie prods her finger into my upper arm, her polite way of asking me to move to allow her out of the booth. I consider just staying where I am and seeing how long it will take till she actually asks me; than I realize she can sure tap hard!

"I am going to put in X-Men who wants to join me?" Jack asks us all as he pulls the DVD off of the shelf, he had actually asked his mother to let it out instead of bruising her arm.

"Sure."

"I'll pass."

"No." All said at the same moment as Annie laid herself on the couch and Molly wandered over the mini-fridge. I just sat there as if frozen in time in a semi-bad movie. I had seen the DVD six times already and though I did like it to make it seven times is not on my agenda of things to do this week. The thought of heading to my bunk floats into my mind, but I realize that the boredom alone will increase it's strength. Picking up the box laying up by my bare feet I begin to disable the game and place it correctly away. Molly has her back facing me; her shoulders slumped down slightly in her hand she is holding a can of 7-Up unopened. I wish I could see her face, to be able to steal carefully planned glances at her beautiful eyes, but only leave them for a tiny fraction of time so not to draw her attention to me.

The windows to the soul are the eyes they say. I have to say I don't like the picture I receive from her window. Foggy, out of focus as if a small child is pressing anxiously against the pane glass window staring outside waiting for the ice-cream to come into view, but soon understands no is coming, still they stay in the same place waiting. I want to be the one to pull her away, to show her the world with a brand new view. I know she won't let me or anyone for that matter have that honor. She's afraid. Perhaps of taking chances, of the possibility failure will meet her around the next corner. Molly lives life with little fear, doesn't devour off course, because in the past changing lanes only brought disappointment. She tries to hide it and hopes that nobody can tell, but I see the picture clearly.

"Do you want this?" My thoughts are interrupted by her voice as she holds the aluminum can out for the possibility of my grabbing it.

"Don't you want it?"

"No, well I did but I changed my mind. So do you want it or not?" Finding myself confused as of why she didn't just place it back on the shelf instead of trying to pass it off to me. I smile and nod reaching my hand outward to take a hold of the drink, her fingers linger slowly over mine, and I look up at her and am welcomed into her window. Like a clap of thunder she jerks her hand away and takes a few stumbled steps backwards her expression flustered and unsure as of what to say or what to do.

"I'll be in my room reading for a bit." Molly calls out for us all to hear and escapes from view. I stare at the green colored object in my hand trying to decide what just happened, if anything at all. It couldn't be that, could it? Sighing out loud causing both X-Men watchers to move their focus from the TV screen to myself their way of asking what's up? I give no response out loud or encrypted and turn myself in the booth to watch the cars pass us by.


	5. Chapter 5

Silence! It is time to direct your eyes to chapter five. The song that appears in this is called **No Ocean Deep Enough**, it's by Paul Alan.

Seventeen times. I had reread Carey's letter seventeen times since I came in here. I am pretty sure I could recite every single word right out loud not having to take one peak for confidence to know I am not making a mistake. My brain is a total jumble of disconnected wires and misfiring circuits. I don't know what had come over me I was just standing there feeling his eyes upon me instead of becoming uncomfortable I found myself being washed with joy. I had to see him. I had to touch him in anyway I could. I was the moth and he the fame burning drawing me into its delight. I had to sacrifice my soda to brush the fire and even now I am not sure if it was worth it.

Feeling as if a tiger trapped in a cage that's too small to compliment its size I am trapped in this room, in this bus. A refueling it's likely to be in order within the next ten minutes. A full take of gas on this monster lasts just around two and half hours. Where a light snack or perhaps a breakfast will be purchased at the closets fast food joint to satisfy our hungry. Though the cupboards are full of snacks one quickly tires of the same chips and fruit snacks in the shapes of cartoon characters. The food will be brought aboard so not to forfeit any more time than necessary from the journey. Always go go go!

I walk towards the shelf where Fiona's cd player walkman sits. She had forgot to pack it with her belongings when leaving for Melinda's. I had offered to ship it out for her but by that point her aunt had already brought a new one, a better one. I turn it on and press play as I pushed the earpieces gently into my ears.

_Have you any idea how beautiful you are…_

_That in a million years I could not love you more_

_Like the sun can only shine so bright in the auburn sky_

_And you will never leave you stranded_

_I would die to find a way to reach you…_

I feel the tears escape from the corner of my eyes, my lip and chin both start to tremble I don't try to hold it in. The stress from the past thirteen years is attacking me again just when I think I am able to see the light of a gorgeous sunrise it's whipped away and replaced by a stormy gray sunset. Than there is Carey offering me… I don't know what he's offering me. But the gift is loved and cherished just the same.

_There is no ocean deep enough_

_No mountain high or steep enough_

To keep me away- keep me away from you 

_There is no highway long enough_

_No river wide or strong enough_

_To keep me away- keep me away from you_

The question that I should be asking myself is do I accept the gift and unopen it or do I return it to him? He means more to me than anyone else has in a long time. I don't know if I felt this way before he opened his soul to my eyes or if it was there all this time and I turned my attention away from the signs.

_When are you going to believe like I believe in you?_

_If love is a lie then there is no truth_

_So I'll hang it all on the wire and follow you anywhere_

_And you don't have to be lonely_

_Or look very hard to find me_

What is the worse that could happen? Carey discovers that this was more enjoyable in his head than playing out in real life, and I quickly become replaced with a fake blond with larger breasts after a gig? Our family and friends are outraged by the concept and drive a hundred mile wedge between us, causing us to be afraid to lose it all for something that might not never be? Or is it because I might actually fall in love with someone that isn't Rick?

_I'll be walking on your stormy sea_

_I know your feeling lost sometimes_

_I know you're losing sleep at night_

_And faith is hard to find_

_And prayers are crashing to the floor_

_And you wonder what you're praying for_

In love? I had to be jumping the gun. I didn't even fall in love with Rick truly, fully, and deeply until after we had dated for two months. A person just can't fall in and out of love as if it were a new hairstyle easily changed with a twenty-dollar bill. It's the stress. It has to be stress I am under that is sparking these conflicting emotions. Because else whys I am completely nuts. I feel the bus come to a complete stop; looking up out of the window I see the pumps and tanker trucks. Pulling out a Kleenex I brush the evidence of the tears away, hoping my eyes are not red shot, and make my way towards some fresh air.


	6. Chapter 6

I would like to present you with chapter six. I do hope you have a pleasant time reading.

She had been crying. And I knew I had been the reason why. A reason of joy or of sadness? Of that I cannot say. Jack takes no notice of this quickly reassuming the tying of his laces after his brief hello as she walked on by. Annie had stepped off of the bus a moment earlier after sliding on her sandals. Not bothering with any foot ware deciding I'll just look before I take any steps to avoid possible particles of glass I leave behind Jack. I spy Molly standing within the confident store walking down an aisle without looking at any of the purchases presenting themselves on the shelf.

"Do you need any help mom?" I call out towards her as she starting the fuel up.

"No I am fine thanks honey." I am relieved of her response not wanting to help in the first place but understanding it would be inconsiderate not to inquire of it. Taking slow step with my eyes focused almost completely downwards and not ahead I head towards the store. I have about six buck in my wallet more than enough for the cherry filled poptarts I have been craving since our gig in New Mexico last Thursday. Or some popsicles despite the fact our mini-freezer does not hold well to its name. It hardly matters anyway it's the who within the store that only counts to me.

"What's wrong?" It was odd while walking towards her I had consider a dozen ways to bring forth the subject of her dried and faded tears. A joke of some sort though I had no punch line prepared, talking about something on the shelf, none of them involved the straightforward truth. She jumps at the sound of my voice, though she would have had the same reaction to anybody suddenly appearing to her side.

"What?" Molly is avoiding me, avoiding my eyes instead staring at package of French Vanilla car air fresheners.

"I asked what's wrong, you've been crying, why?" She is still avoiding but her body language has tensed up as if I held a gun against her back.

"Carey I don't know what you're talking about, I am fine." If there was one thing that Molly Phillips lacks talent in that would be lying. Her losses collected in poker games we play with the other band members and roadies every couple of weeks is evident enough of this fact.

"Look at me Molly." That snaps her eyes towards me, not having ever heard me addressing her as anything besides Mrs. Phillips or Mrs. P, but considering the events that I rolled into play calling her anything besides her first name is just too weird. Plus I am no longer a child I have grown beyond the Misses, Mister, sir, mam' stage when it comes to those I know.

"I…I don't know." She finally allows the balloon to pop and her self-control drops with defeat. It wasn't much of an answer but it was a start. One I could work with, carefully.

"You don't know? Come on Molly there has to be something or someone, nothing happens without a reason." I don't know what I said or even if my words had any impact whatsoever, but with the conclusion of my statement came a down pour of tears.

"It's because of you." She hiccups out in a whisper between sobs as she takes a step towards me falling into my chest. I wrap myself around her tight enough to allow her permission to know I am there but lose enough not to bring her any discomfort. Her arms follow my lead taking a hold of me while the tears still fell down.

"It's okay, it's okay Molly." I whisper softly though I had no idea of true signifies of being the reason why, it could be good just as equal are the chances it could be bad. If it were the second I can't help to consider why would she fall into my arms?

"Mom what's wrong!" Taking a sharp turn at the far end of the aisle to where Jack stood his faced covered in nothing but the emotion of fear as he stares at his mother seemingly falling apart in a dirty gas station min-market.


	7. Chapter 7

This would be chapter 7 I would appreciate if you would read it and it's up to you if you enjoy it or not.

As if rubber band being pulled too tight I snap upwards away from Carey at the sound of Jack's voice. Great just great. He'll soon become obsessed with this behavior no matter what carefully concocted reasoning I give to him. One shouldn't complain about a child who cares so dearly for their parent's well being emotionally and physically, though sometimes it almost feels if our roles are reversed in their responsibilities. I know it's partially because of Rick's loss and having a parent ripped away that Jack tries with all his might to keep a hold of me.

"It's okay honey I am fine." I might as well of added that babies come from the stork and that five plus five is eight.

"But you're crying did something happen?" Jack questions further as I pull myself away from Carey not wanting Jack to take any notice of the position in which he found me in.

"No Jack nothing happened I am just having a bad day for some reason, just been in a concrete gray funk since the day began." If I could cross my fingers without having it seen by either party I would.

"Is there anything that I could do?" The sound of sorrow and defeat bounces off of the words that he knows he is powerless to learn more information from me. Almost any other circumstance of my embarrassing display I would have shared with him, some how I think this isn't worth it.

"I could use some tissues, could you buy a few pocket poaches for me, do you need any money?" I ask while reaching for my wallet shoved in my side pocket.

"No I got some, do you need anything else?"

"Thank you but that's suitable. Carey will you escort me back to the bus please?" Jack turns and walks away as Carey nods in response placing his hand lightly onto my shoulder. I wasn't sure how to handle the situation, but leaving Carey standing there as if a fool certainly didn't feel right. As we walk towards the bus I can't help but to notice his shallow steps that are often hesitant, looking down I discover the reason why.

"Carey! Do you know how dangerous that is?" Barefoot at truck stop gas station what in the world was he thinking?

"I am being careful." Said just as he plants his left foot into a shard glass no scream comes but the look on his face speaks even louder.

"Holy shit Carey see this is the reason you should wear shoes!" Way to go Molly what he really wants to hear at this particular moment a lecture. He takes a harder grip of my shoulder leaning down to support his weight as we unceremonially hopple towards our home on wheels. Luckily the door was being held open to allow some fresh air, though the gasoline fumes and truck exhaust surrounding other in every direction is anything but fresh, Carey lets loose and assists himself up the stairs, the passage too narrow to continue on side by side. Irene is sitting at the table sipping on the coffee poured into the handle chipped red mug, as she held her cell phone preparing to dial it. She looks up at us taking no notice of the dried stains of tears or of the blood dripping from the sole of her eldest son's foot. When it comes to her job or anything involving the business Irene can only focus her energy on that, everything is simply in a haze of her vision until pointed out to her. I can never decide if I should call Irene being dedicated to her job obsessively a good or bad thing. It usually evens out fairly well.

"Irene can you get the first aid kit out of the bathroom for me?" I call out to her, and as I had guessed the words first aid draw her full attention towards our direction. Carey sat down on the outstretching his leg on the cushion staining the fabric.

"What happened!" Irene asks panic filled after a quick dash to retrieve the requested item. Carey explains to her of his foolish behavior as I examine the wound closer, it's deep wound too deep for a simple bandage.

"We'll have to take you to a hospital." I inform him as he shakes his head in denial.

"Ah come on it's not that bad just put a touch of iodine and wrap it up, I'll be fine."

"I am guessing at least five stitches and let's not forget you'll need an anti-infected shot to ensure that you didn't catch anything." Though I am not looking up at her I can just picture the panicked expression on Irene's face, not because her son is hurt, but because it could possibly cancel the show this evening. I won't be surprised if she at this very moment she is circulating through her head every possible soul that could substitute. I know there is nobody.

"Now what happened?" Jack sits down beside me I hadn't even him walk onto the bus.

"Carey decided he wanted to see if stepping on glass really hurt or not." Irene answers her voice oozing of sarcasm, not towards Jack in particular just the situation in a whole.

"Ah dang man that sucks, does it hurt?" Carey just nods in response. I suddenly notice that Annie is absent from our little festivities

"Jack where's Annie?" Inquiring would be the only way to put a close to this current mystery.

"She's talking to some guys in a car over on the other side of the parking lot." Good damn I swear I need to put that girl on a leash whenever we go out somewhere for a period longer than two minutes. Annie has always been a beautiful girl and attracted the attention and other things I don't even want to think about of various men and young boys, but it wasn't until fairly recently that she began to like it, and now seeks it out. I love the girl I truly do nonetheless I am glad she'll be gone in a few weeks time.

"I'll go get her." I tell the other three.


	8. Chapter 8

Four plus four; three subtract eleven; two multiplied by four; sixteen divided by two all equal eight. Which is what this chapter is numbered.

I never been one to complain when something is bothering me physically, being a man showing tears and fear isn't allowed. You get hit you just get up, if you're bleeding you wipe away the blood without thinking twice, but damn this hurts! I am embarrassed to admit it to myself and I'll never tell a soul that when I stepped on that stupid piece of glass I could feel a wall of tears prepared to fall from my eyes. I couldn't cry and I still can't. Molly needs someone to be strong for her, a strong force to keep her on track. If I am weak in any possible way I am nothing for her.

"Hey Irene do you want me to call the other bus and let them know what's going on?" Jack asks my mom as she is taking a glander at the map searching for any hospitals. I watch her motion her approval to his question and he steps into one of the bedrooms to receive a little piece of quiet. I know my mom pretty well if she could tell me I fucked up the day, that lost us money, my actions were stupid and she is severely disappointed in me; she would. But I also know she'll just remain quiet perhaps a little too quiet letting the anger and frustration simmer inside. She'll verbally attack a complete stranger that screws her or any one involved with work or her family, yet keeps tight mouthed when someone she cares about upsets her. More often than not her bark is much than the bite.

I turn my head at the sound of the door being pulled open quickly followed by two separate sets of feet walking up the steps. The tears are all but vanished from Molly's face while Annie looks like if could commit murder with no penalties she would. I need not to be total of what happened to receive a pretty accurate picture of details. Undoubtedly Annie was with whomever the boys in that car were flirting, exchanging numbers, and all of that teenage ten-second lust activates, and here came Molly to in Annie's mind to embarrass here. The walk back to bus full of "You ruined m life!" Teenagers. It's sad to think I was one of them a few scarce years ago. Annie looks at my bandage foot as she walks by not bothering to ask me about or if I am okay. If I know that girl well enough in fifteen minutes time she'll be attacking me with a million of questions. But right now she's too preoccupied with brewing in anger at Molly.

"Doing any better?" Molly asks me as she looks at the area in the map that my mom is pointing out, likely the nearest hospital.

"It doesn't hurt as much, so I am good." I have a talent for lying without displaying signs to others that I am. Some how I gather that Molly doesn't believe me though she doesn't question me any longer or harder for that matter.

"Alright I told Curtis and he said he'll wait for further word before he does anything. He also said to tell Carey to take it easy and be more careful." Jack lets us all know, Curtis being one of the roadies and the driver of the second bus. Myself and him getting along with each us quite well and I do doubt his comment to me was that polite. Knowing him it was chalk full of curses and insults that would make a sailor cover his ears. My mom takes a seat behind the wheel, fires up the engine and pulls it into drive.

Molly who had vanished down the hall a moment prior has returned to stand in front of me holding out her hand that held two white pills. I smile and mouth the word thanks as I remove them, I am not man enough to say no to pain reducers. She takes a seat across from me staring at the carpet listening to yet another argument beginning from Jack and Annie. I find it amazing how the two of them got along great for months, a real bond of friendship formed between them in just a few days time. Now the days are full of fights, petty arguments, and more or less the attack of the egos. My theory of it all is two total separate reasons; Jack is jealous of the attention she's giving to nearly every guy that walks near but is afraid to let her know he might care more than a friend should. While as Annie knows she'll be leaving in a few weeks and Lord only knows when she'll be around again, and pushes those away that she cares about is her way of dealing with the pain. Or they might just now hate each other. Either way it's annoying as hell.

"If I shoved them both out of the window how much time do you think I would receive?" I smirk at Molly's question especially since I had been thinking nearly the same thing,

"Two cases of murder wow 25 to life I am betting."

"Okay seems a bit harsh but I think it'll be worth it." Her voice had raised in volume to be heard over the sound of the yells. I couldn't care less of what they were yelling about I just wanted them to shut up. Judging by the clenched fist of Molly she agrees full heartily.

"We should be at the hospital in about ten minutes." My mom calls out to us. I don't respond I am too busy watching Molly's eyes once again brim with tears. If I could not caring of the witnesses surrounding us from in front and behind I would be been at her side to hold her and let her know as I did early that it will all be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

Are you looking for chapter 9? Well if you are congratulations you have found it. And if you weren't looking stick around anyways.

The bus lurches to a stop at the same time Irene vocally announces it from the cab. I drop my glance away from the wall, though I hadn't been seeing it, or hearing anything for the last few minutes. The ability to lose myself within my thoughts and roller coaster of feelings though the world around me is still in full swing has always been easy for me. Lately with Jack and Annie trying collective to create World War III I have been putting it into practice more often than not. When I moved my eyes I catch Carey's the only way I can describe the emotion I am reading off of him is concern mixed with fear, and I know it's not for himself it's for me. I am sure I have done a fair share of creeping him today, my jumpy teenage channeled behaviors, weeping in the store, staring off into another galaxy for over ten minutes, and to think it's not even noon yet! I wonder if he tried to speak to me during the ride depending on how deep I look myself up internerally effects if I'll catch outside influences such as my name being called. But for some reason I don't think he did.

"Honey do you need help getting off the bus?" Irene asks him.

"Yeah I think I do." He replies to her as he stands up resisting the urch to place the blooded foot onto the carpet, and reaches his arm out for me to be the one to help him. After all I am the closet one at the present moment. Irene yells out for Annie and Jack to both get out here now. In the past they were always out in the common area, joining in the fun, or has I actually call it killing boredom. Now they are more often playing it solo only meeting social needs and interactions when forced. This morning them playing the game and starting the movie is quite rare. I said it once, I'll say it again, and I am sure a thousand times more teenagers no will ever fully comprehend their thoughts and actions. Frankly I have stopped trying.

With Irene leading the pack we walk or in Carey's and mine case stumble towards the ER marked doors. I assist him down onto a chair that I only hope looks more uncomfortable than it actually is, while Irene obtains the correct forms from the desk. Besides us the only two other people is a young woman somewhere in her mid twenties holding a sleeping toddler on her lap. Jack has wandered over the food vending machine looking intently thinking of what to buy if at all. I try to not scuff out loud as I catch Annie staring at a group of young good-looking doctors. The chairs are actually quite uncomfortable, small hard plastic chairs; the genius one thought of filling waiting areas with them should be shot. Carey's foot is outstretched to the seat adjacent to him, I take a glance once again, and am happy to discoverer the flowing of blood has stopped, in fact now it doesn't look that bad. I am willing to guess though it doesn't' look bad it's likely still hurts like a bitch.

"Carey!" Even it's not my name that was called I still jump at the sound of Irene's voice from across the room, where she stands with what I can only presume is a doctor holding a clipboard in his hands. I had been anticipating a wait duration of at least thirty minutes, dead here or not. Taking a notice of his stumbling as trying to stand the doctor calls out for an orderly to fetch a wheelchair. I try to ignore the fact I find the doctor not coming over to Carey a bit strange, seems most inhospitable to me. A woman of Mexican descent arrives with the wheelchair and Carey plops into it.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I ask as he begins to leave. I know what answer I want him to say.

"No I'll be fine see you in a little bit." It was the right response. A part of me knows it's an irrational fear that I should be over by now; in fact it never should have developed at all. The fact of the matter is that I hate hospital more so examining rooms. Rick might have died in the car that night, but he wasn't official announced as such until he was brought to the emergency room. Hospitals are too full of sadness, dreams crashing down, bearer of life changing and life destroying news. Sure there are happy moments, recovers, new babies, still to me the sadness outweighs the joy.

"Hi Molly." I smile sincerely as Annie takes a seat next to me, without looking I am positive the cute guys have walked out of view, leaving the girl with nothing to entertain herself with.

"Hey there Annie." I start to chant silently to myself please don't try to start a conversation. I am just not in the mood to paste on a fake smile and pretend I understand even a fraction of the things she tells me. How a hunky guy did this, how are new favorite band of the weeks compares to her favorite act the week before, how she saw these really cute shoes with a matching purse at the mall. When Fi left she informed me that Annie could show me what real teenage girls worry about and enjoy doing. I'll take my so-called abnormal teenage girl over this any day. I do love Annie and would protect her from any harm that could ever befall on her, just she's not my daughter, and I miss my daughter.

"Oh my gosh I forgot to tell you!" Oh great here it comes.

"What sweetheart?"

"I got an email from my dad yesterday after the show, he and mom will be arriving in Los Angeles a week from this upcoming Tuesday. He wanted me to ask you, which would be easier meeting them there or having them, catch up with the tour. I have always wanted to see LA it seems so damn cool! Could we go there?" Yeah sure I am more than willing to completely tear apart the tour schedule, go out of my way, just so you can see some stupid celebrities and palm trees; was what I felt like saying.

"I think if they could meet us it would easier on everyone. When Irene comes back we'll check to see where we are scheduled to be on that day and let your parents know, okay?" She isn't doing a good job of hiding her disappointment but nods in agreement all the same. Nine days. Nine more days till Annie is back with her parents. I don't know if I should celebrate, cry, or laugh. If anything she's made life here very interesting.

"All done." Carey with Irene by his side calls out to us, the woman and the toddler had been called a little bit earlier. He is standing with crutches and a tight bandage around the injured foot.


	10. Chapter 10

Welcome to chapter 10, yes I have reached the double the digits, feel free to send me some sort of a reward. Cash is always good. So are reviews.

Only four stitches and two shots to prevent any possible infections from turning up were needed. I should be able to apply pressure to the foot in about a week's time. When the doctor informed me of the time period my recreation was happiness, though these crutches might give me some extra attention from the females with the sympathy card (not that I even want it), they are just awkward and difficult to use. I thought a week was a pretty short amount of time. However my mom's reaction was a tad different. Annoyance and anger and already plotting and planning in her always over working mind to find someone, anyone with an even an ounce of talent to fill in for me. The thought of playing while seating past into my head, but I have the weird urch to see her how long it takes her to figure out on her own. Plus a challenge is always good for people.

"That was quick." Molly tells us both with a pouting Annie by her side. I couldn't have cared less of the reason why. I spot Jack sitting on the other side of the room reading through a magazine it's cover ripped off likely months ago. Now would be a good time to practice these crutches out, leaving the three woman talking, well two talking and one looking as if she rather kill herself, I make my way over to Jack. I am pleased to say I didn't fall on my face once as I had in the examining room. He looks up at me nods a quick hey and goes on with his reading. I am not a fool I realize he likes my brother more as a friend than myself, they are closer in age, share more interests. Still we used to have a friendship of our own that ran a close second to the one he has with Clu. Now it's begun to fade. I don't if you can call it anyone's fault it's just apart of life. I can't help but to feel a little bit taken back by the fact that he hasn't shown more compassion or even interest in the fact I was hurt.

"What are you reading?"

"Oh um it's American Girl." American Girl? American Girl? Isn't that a magazine for pre-teenage girls?

"May I ask why?"

"It was either this or Guide Posts for Kids." I personally would have gone with that one. And with that the conversation has been buried deep into the ground. I had no amusing wisecrack; he didn't ask to try out the crutches or any possible scenario. Just him sitting in all likelihood staring at a page that teaches you how to French braid yours and all your friends hair, as while I begin to realize what a moron I am to be waiting for more.

"Come on you two it's time to get going." Halleluiah an excuse to get away from him. I carefully turn myself from Jack and make my way towards the woman who are walking out of t he hospital doors towards are awaiting chariot of a home. Home sweet home. Wait scratch that. Once a board the bus we all seem to scatter like ants after having our carefully built sandy home on a hill kicked up by an over excitable six year old. My mom sits herself down at the wheel after grabbing a diet Pepsi from the mini-fridge. Jack is at the table shuffling a deck of playing cards over and over again, if I know him well enough if would be a fair guess to say he plans on playing a game of solitaire. Annie has made her way to the bathroom, though it really shouldn't be called a bathroom in the true definition of that word. All it is a sink and a toilet neither that work all that good to begin with. She'll be in there for at least a half an hour apply pounds of makeup on her face, just to wash it off and starting over. She's been trying for weeks to find her perfect look. I'd deny this to the point of torture and death, but I think she's beautiful enough without all the gunk applied. Far as Molly goes she escaped into her room once again. Not only did I want to talk to her about the event that occurred moments before my little accident, I needed to talk to her. A good friend doesn't walk away from a troubled friend even the friend in some way might be the reason for the pain. If nothing ever develops between her and I besides friendship I'll take it.

"What happened to the movie?" I ask Jack who had started to play the classic solo game.

"Seen it too many times." Well I could have guessed that would happen a main part of the reason I declined to watch when it began. I let forth a sigh while carefully standing up from the couch realizing now would be the prefect time to see Molly. Standing in front of her door I lightly knock at it.

"Come in."


	11. Chapter 11

This would be chapter 11 I do hope you read, enjoy, and review.

"Hey Molly." I knew it was Carey on the other side, though nervous as I am to face him the mature part of me knows avoiding it longer will cause the discomfort to rise. After I waved him inside offering him a seat at the desk I begin to realize I have no idea where to begin, I can easily tell he doesn't either. So here we are feet from each other he staring at the cup full of dried out pens and I watching the side of his head.

"About earlier,' I begin to speak knowing one of us had to say something we're not nervous middle schoolers at our first dance glued to the wall. 'I just wanted to thank you for not freaking out in the store, I really do appreciate it." The truth is almost always the best place to begin a conversation.

"Anytime Molly, anytime. Now are you ready to tell me the reason why?" No I wasn't. I wasn't ready to tell myself let alone enough anybody else especially him. I have to have better control than this; I am the master of keeping emotions in check and placing on a fake smile or whatever emotion is mandatory to the given scene. The only time I have lost control and allowed the world to witness the fall was after Rick's death and the few months that processed it. Than I had a pretty damn good excuse, I was in mourning. Now I have no reason to lose control. Not after all my hard work to trick the world that I am hundred percent happy.

"No." The word came out as a defeated whisper.

"Please?" I want to yell out, curse, demand that he just leave me in peace, to just forget everything including your stupid letter, but I can't. I just can't. Even if I felt that way I still would still reframe from it.

"I don't know how."

"Yes you do, just start talking let it all out, even if it's a total whirlwind." Sure it seems easy in theory however placing it to reality it's always more difficult. Let the wall fall he'll catch you if that moment comes. I hear my heart begin to whisper its encouragement and desire.

"Carey why did you do it?" I catch him trying to hide an uneasy squirm from being noticed by me.

"Do what?"

"Don't play dumb when we both know perfectly well that your not. Now why did you give me that letter?" I knew he didn't want me mentioning it in either a positive or negative way, but a person can't read something like that and simply toss it aside as if it were yesterdays grocery list. He was a fool if he truly thought I could. He exhales deeply before starting to speak. He's thinking of the best response and how in the world to begin something that might not have a starting place at all.

"Because like I told you in the letter I had to let the feeling out before I exploded. I couldn't take it anymore; it was like a rock pressing in on not only my heart but my lungs as well. I am truly sorry if I scared you, that was my absolute last desire."

"It did a lot of things but I don't believe being frightened was included in that manifest of emotions felt." I quickly told him wanting sooth away that fear.

"Good I am glad. Now will you please answer a question of mine?" No. No. No. I wanted to scream it still partially unable to allow that wall to crumble to dust at my feet.

"Yes." And there it went.

"You told me I was the reason for your crying why?" I turn towards the bed and place myself on the edge of it, suddenly noticing how foolish I looked and felt to have been standing this whole time. I start to pull at a loose thread of the red fabric lightweight blanket, perfect for the warm summer evenings, all the time feeling his eyes burrowing into me waiting for an answer. Almost demanding one.

"I suppose in a way I lied about being scared. Your letter did scare me. But only because I realized I didn't disagree with your words. Now I am I saying that I love you? No. But I am also not saying that I don't love you either. I mean I do love you however in what meaning of the word I can't say. God damn you Carey!" I finally let the strongest emotion loose, anger.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me Carey. How could you do this to me! What gave you the right? You had no right to play architect to my heart. I certainly didn't give you permission. So just forget this tomfoolery and leave me alone." Now this what a whirlwind reasoning sounds like when it comes from me.

"You don't mean that. Because if you did we both know with absolutely certainty that you would of told me that same night. Despite what I instructed you not to do. I know you didn't give me permission, but no one is able to control something like this, not even you. Molly this isn't tomfoolery as you claim it to be. Don't be scared." Gripping the blanket even tighter my fists turn white at the knuckles.

"Please leave me alone." I request of him my tone of voice having calmed considerably since the last moment I spoke.

"I can't."


	12. Chapter 12

Great news you have discovered chapter 12. Now be careful it bites when hungry.

"Carey please leave me alone, I just need some space." I am refusing to move. I won't allow any amount of time to pass without me here because she'll just use the minutes to convince herself from stopping her feelings. I walked her to the edge of emotional turmoil and I'll wait here until she either jumps off the cliff or climbs down to the bottom again. Staying at a stalemate is not an option in my book.

"Molly may I ask you one more question?" She waits a few seconds before providing me an answer.

"Yeah sure but only if you promise to leave afterwards."

"We'll see we'll see. You just told me a few minutes ago that the main reason my letter did scare you was because you found yourself agreeing to it. Now my question is what's holding you back?" Molly is right about one thing I am not idiot, I am perfectly aware I will not be receiving a sunshine cheery happy response with that one. I have come so far! Further than I would ever imagine myself touching, I refuse to walk away. Fear is a distracter in many things in life; this will not be one of those times.

"What's holding me back? What's holding me back? Well let's see here Carey. Let's begin with the fact this entirely stupid. I am twenty-one years older than you, twenty-one Carey. Jesus Christ I am older than your mother you realize that right?" No I had no idea I thought you were only two years older than me! I wanted to spit back that reply to her.

"I don't care."

"Oh you don't care do you? It's perfectly peachy happy for you? And how do you think your parents will react? Do you think that they won't care either? Or my kids for that matter? Yeah Carey don't forget about them. I have kids that are practically the same age as you. Do you think they'd throw us a party of celebration? No. God damn it! Okay I won't lie to you or try to make an excuse for my feelings; I think I might like you as well. But what I realize is the one thing you're forgetting, and that's this cannot or will never happen. So just move on." Just move on huh? That's like telling a fish to survive above the waters surface. Or telling all the stars to fall from the sky with a single command. Simply put they are all impossible.

"Never. If you truly want me to leave you alone I will, I said so in the letter and I did mean that. However I will not move on or find a way to conceal my feelings."

"Carey I know what it's like to be trapped and held down by something that you want but are not allowed to have, it's horrible. I don't want to see you go through that." While she was speaking I carefully stood from the desk and joined her side on the bed. She had paused to look at me a well-mixed emotion of annoyance of being so close and appreciation.

"Than don't allow me." I whisper quietly as if the words were terrified of leaving the safety of my mind.

"There isn't anything that I can do, I am sorry." No I wasn't going to allow this to happen! I gently take a hold of her beautiful face pull her towards me ever so slightly, while ignoring the anxious look of what I can only best describe as fear, I kiss her. And to my surprise and joy she kisses me back.

_Knock knock_. We pull apart roughly and stare at the door and the noise coming from it as if it were an alien and any second would break it down and kill us both slowly and painfully.

"Hey mom? Irene says she wants to talk to you." Jack's voice creeps into the room. Molly looking absolutely flustered and stuck in a totally different dimension just continues staring at the door.

"Okay honey I'll be right there!" She finally tells him, turns to me as if to say goodbye, or something, I really don't know because I didn't receive anything before she yanked the door open quickly walking down the hallway.


	13. Chapter 13

Ah chapter 13 the so-called evil and bad number. Enjoy!

"What is it Irene?" I ask my voice squeaking as if I were a teenage boy of all things, thank goodness neither Irene or Annie who is standing next to her side notices.

"Annie was just informing me her parents are suppose to meet us in Las Vegas in about a weeks time. Now I don't know if we'll have time for it. As it is our schedules for that night is pretty tight, taking extra time to wait for an airline just isn't on the schedule." Irene, Irene fool of nonsense Irene. I swear there was a time long now past that she was able to put down her guard and have some unexpected fun.

"I am sure we could arrange or figure something out that shall back all parties involved happy. Where and when is our show on the 20th?"

"At 7:30 in Utah."

"Well that's not bad at all Irene. Why don't we actually spend the night in Vegas, I frankly could use a break from that wonderful rock of a bed and don't to mention just a tad of a rest even if it's only a few hours. I am also pretty confident that I am not the only one to feel this way, a grumpy crew and musicians are not a good thing." It's actually an understatement, the past few days I have been getting the strong expression from them that if they don't get a rest sometime soon a walk away could take place. In all likelihood they would not reach that point, but I might.

"Molly I don't know…."

"Irene I am asking you not as my manager but instead as a friend, slow it down please."

"Fine I'll figure out a way. But we'll have to be back on the road by 7:00!" I have to plenty time to convince her that 10 is such a better and happier time. Plus Ned will be back and in charge of driving again by that point. I turn myself to face Annie who had taken a seat in the common area during my previous conversation.

"Annie do you think you're parents will be able to get a flight to Las Vegas sometime on the 19th or early the 20th?" She nods her head as a response; I suppose she's still pissed off about the LA thing. She'll get over it. I look up to see Jack sitting by himself doodling on a scrap piece of paper. Soon he'll be gone off to college, in two months time actually. He received his letter of approval a few weeks ago telling us that Jack Phillips will be gracing the halls of the University of Colorado. It seems as if it were only yesterday that I was pushing him into his kindergarten class while trying to act as if his tears and screams had no effect on me. He is growing up so fast no longer my little boy but instead my mature and strong man. Horribly depressing actually.

"What is it mom?" He caught wind of my staring.

"I was just thinking about your first day of school. I have never seen anyone so scared in my life."

"Oh great not this story again!" But his voice held a hint of laughter.

"Why I don't tell you about your sister's first day of school than? It was a horrible rainy day and she had gotten up at the bloody crack of dawn to make sure she wasn't late, you couldn't find your –"

"Mom!"

"Okay okay fine I'll finish it another time." I tell him teaseally and find myself unexpectedly caught off guard when Carey walks into the room.

"Finish what?" He asks the both of us unsure to whom direct the question towards.

"Telling embarrassing stories of my youth."

"Oh you want embarrassing huh? I can do that. Let's see there was the time you found my makeup and –"

"Mom!" He once again yells behind the laughter coming from both Annie and Carey.

"Alright Jack I am sorry I'll stop now." I reassure him just as the other two start to protest their complaints demanding for more. They quickly give it up as Annie picks up a book lying on the cushion next to her and while Carey takes a seat across from Jack. I hadn't forgotten what had taken place a few minutes ago. Though it was like a dream, but if a pleasant one or a nightmare I am completely at a lose to say. In fact I didn't want to pick one or the other.

"Are we?" I am broken from the thoughts by the sound of Carey's voice.

"Are we what?" He smiles sweetly, oh God what a beautiful smile.

"Is it true we're going to stay in Vegas for the night?"

"Yeah it's true but that's not for over a week from now. Plus you have to be 21 to gamble so I don't see why you're getting so excited." Holy crap he can't even gamble or drink yet! I had known the entire time but now somehow that knowledge and realization is quite different.

"I don't know it just sounds like fun. Where are we staying? On the strip?" He tells me than calls out the rest for his mother to answer.

"Carey I doubt it okay?"

"Why not it'll be fun, come on fun is good mom." If anyone can get her to drop the guard it's always been one of her boys, it's strange Jack and Fi have the same exact same effect on me 90 percent of the time.

"Staying on the strip costs more honey."

"Actually Irene there are always deals and specials at various hotels and casinos taking place. I'll call up a few later and see what I can do, okay?" I throw my ten cents into the mix; hey if I am going to be staying in Vegas it's sure as hell not going to be a run down Motel 6 on the wrong side of the tracks.

"Fine but it better be a damn good deal."

"Yes ma'm."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 is exactly what this is don't be fooled by cheap imitations.

"Thank you and goodnight!" Molly yells out to the excited crowd while walking off the stage, myself and the rest of the band follows suit. It was a sold out show the first one of those we have had in nearly two months time. It felt good; it felt really damn good actually. My foot had been removed from the bandage a day earlier than scheduled, actually I risked taking it off at that point because my foot no longer hurt and has I predicated the stupid crutches were just that stupid. Just as long as I don't over do it I am perfectly set to go. We arrived in Las Vegas only ten minutes before the show, usually we try to avoid cutting it that short, just sometimes it can't be avoid. The stage crew had everything set up including all the mic checks. I must admit it felt weird going out without some sort of a rehearsal run through first, but we do the same set day after day it seems. I know there are changes but it's certainly not brain surgery.

"Mom! Dad!" I whip around quickly at the sound of Annie's high pitch squeal and manage to jump out of the way as she came running right past me to reach the people she screamed for. I had meet her mother when she had been left in Molly's care, a nice woman. Her father I had only meet him through hundreds of photographs arranged in cute scrapbooks made by Annie. She absolutely adored him. It seems that majority of girls I meet no matter their age adore their fathers. Never being someone's daughter or having one I can't really make any sense of it.

"Oh honey you've grown! I just know that you have." Her father tells her after giving her a hug that lifted her straight off the ground. Grown? No that girl had not grown a single centimeter since being here, I am guessing it's those 70's styled boots that are causing the illusion. I am starting to feel uneasy being here during this long waited family reunion of sorts. The rest of the band with Molly had packed up quickly to have more time at the casinos, and as Molly pointed out nine days ago I can't gamble so I had no where to rush off to. The Thelans said they were going to meet us tomorrow morning around 8:30 at the airport, I guess they are like Annie had enjoy surprises. I carefully try to slip past them unfortunately they were standing next to the only entrance and exit to the room.

"Carey! Hey mom you remember Carey right?" Dear God why did she have to yell everything? I turn my attention to the three of them putting on my best smile and giving a quiet hi.

"Oh Carey! Yes I do remember him. How are you sweetheart?" Rather uncomfortable and out of place so please let me leave.

"I am doing just great Mrs. Thelan. And yourself?"

"I am doing wonderful and please call me Lisa. This is my husband Kevin by the way." He reaches his hand out towards to me and gives me a tight and firm handshake, I'll admit it sort of hurt.

"Ah yes you're Irene and Ned's son right? Good people your parents are."

"That they are."

"Don't forget he's also Molly's guitarist, he's amazing!" Amazing me? I try not to blush at Annie's untrue words.

"I am not that good."

"Don't be modest Carey I am sure you are great. I bet Molly just adores you." Um yeah you could say that.

"Well I have to get going do you guys know what hotel we're staying at?"

"Sure do, we already booked a room. You have a nice night Carey I am sure we'll be seeing you soon." I wave farewell at all three of them and finally escape the room. Once outside of the club I look around for someone that I might know, I am sure that all can't be scampered in the four winds already. At least my dad would of waited for me. Hell this is Las Vegas anything and everything is possible. As I am preparing to reenter the club and request permission to use their phone a hand grabs my elbow roughly yanking me around.

"Shit Molly don't do that to a person!" I tell her teasingly as she pushes me from out of the bright lights coming from the street and the building to an area surrounded by shadows and passionately kisses me. She's coming more risky and adventuress with this kissing business. Not that I mind of course.

"Um Molly?" I finally manage to break lose to speak after what seemed like an eternity I am sure it was no more than five seconds.

"What is it?"

"Annie and her parents are right inside." Quicker than a flash of lightning she has jumped at least five feet away from me.

"Kevin and Lisa are here? But they aren't due for another nine hours."

"Yeah I am pretty confident about it unless they both found their long lost twins and told them everything about our lives." I say jokingly at her while dodging her swinging purse.

"I suppose I should go inside." Molly informs me while walking towards the door, this time I do the elbow grapping and pull her in the opposite direction.

"Nah let them and Annie have some time alone, they know what hotel we're staying at. Don't worry you'll see them soon enough and vise versa. Now come with me I have a plan." Before she can protest with my hand still holding her arm I begin to walk down the street.

"Carey where are we going?"

"If I told you it won't be a surprise. Taxi!"


	15. Chapter 15

You have reached chapter 15 give yourself a pat on the back.

"Are you absolutely insane?" I half hiss and yell at Carey causing a half dozen passerby's to give me questioning looks.

"Quite the opposite actually Molly. I haven't been this clear headed and sure of anything in quite a long time." I sure as hell disagreed with that option. I too shocked and dumbfounded to make any intelligent movements or suggestions.

"Carey you and I both know this is a really bad idea and I stress the word really to the highest degree possible." I am finally able to say as the while it seemed at least 30 people walked between us and around us, constantly getting bumped into and shuffled around like a small child's toy.

"Again I disagree Molly. Come on take a leap! Everything about us being together is technically as you put stupid, why stop now? So let's get married!" I have imaged proposals and weddings since I was six years old, Rick did a decent job of it though that wasn't the fantasy one I thought of and hoped for years. However this couldn't even be called a proposal. It was actually more of demand than question outside of a run down chapel stationed between two stripped clubs. Plus I couldn't actually marry him he was a fool if he thought I'd be a willing party to this plan. I did love him I had finally stopped fighting that emotion two days after our kiss. I did find myself happier than I have been in longer than I can possibly recall when I am with him. But marriage?

"What will everyone say Carey?"

"As if I actually care. I don't. See watch this. I Carey Bell love Molly Phillips!" I watch in horror as he yells it out as loud as possible on the middle of the sidewalk. Receive a mixture of responses ranging from way to go's to curse words. It's rather difficult to obtain a secret relationship if he does things like that.

"Shut up! What are you doing?" I hiss once again at him. He grabs a hold of my waist and pulls me to him softly kissing me.

"Proving to you that I don't care. I wasn't lying that night in your room. I realize that some, okay a lot of people will be upset by it, but I love you too much to care. Don't you love me that much?" Oh don't ask me that! It's a horrible pain-streaking question to place at someone's feet, because there was no right answer. I did love him deeply. I also love Jack and Fi and this relationship could tear them away from me forever. Perhaps over time Fiona would learn to accept it, but never Jack.

"God Carey you know it's not that simple for me."

"Molly think about it this way even if we tell them now or fifteen years from now the reaction will be the same. And perhaps even worse the longer we wait because all will think we are hiding something all of this time. As if we were ashamed. You're not ashamed are you?" Perhaps a bit mentally unstable for being in such an insane situation, but not ashamed.

"No Carey you know that I am not. Just completely terrified. You do realize there is a difference of telling people we are a couple and telling them we are legally married right?" I try not to laugh at the fake shocked and horrified face he is giving me.

"Really there is? Who would've thunk? Of course I know that Molly, but here is the way I figure it. What's the point of shocking the shit out of everyone twice by now separate announcements when we can combine them into one nice package?"

"Carey my love marriage isn't that simple, it's a life time decision okay ignore the stackering statistics of the growing divorce rate. Marriage is something you do when you're ready and in complete and total love."

"I am in love and I am ready, I know that I might be young but I am not a fool. It's you I want. I wanted you months ago. I want you now. I'll want you years from now and even when I am long buried beneath the dirt and the world has stopped turning I'll still want you. There are people who date for years and finally get married and just like that their union crumples into pieces of unhappiness. There are also those who only date for just a few days, marry and stay that way until of time. Perhaps I am fool but I know you and I belong in that second category." Without even noticing when it began I feel the corners of my eyes brimming with tears. I haven't found myself crying for a joyful occasions in many years, it actually felt good. He notices the tears and gently brushes them away cupping my face into the strong embrace of his hand.

"Yes." I tell him with a whispered voice.

"What was that?" He asks of me but I know he had heard me perfectly clear. I let out a laugh and kiss him yet again than find myself shouting,

"Yes I will marry you Carey Bell!" Screw reactions and hurt feelings. I deserve some happiness again, and it's standing right in front of me.


	16. Chapter 16

Epilogue or chapter 16 if are not ready to bid farewell to the numbers.

On this day four years I ago made the biggest life changing decision that turned my world upside down. Sadly must of what unfolded were negative memories bruised feelings and I try to forget the swelled jaw. However just that glimmer of positive was worth it all. You will never hear me say any differently. Not only did I save Molly's life as she has a habit of informing me at least twice a day but she has saved my life as well.

She misses Jack deeply it's a pain that I have no way of healing for her. Neither of us have seen him in three years and ten months, after we told him of our happy news and I received that oh so lovely punch that dislocated my jaw, hours of yelling and crying followed behind. He bought himself a plane ticket back to Hope Springs and hid out at a friend's house until his term at college began. It was the day before that Molly saw him for the last time. I knew my presence being there would have only served to make a difficult situation that much more so. When she returned home with a tear stained face barely able to repeat the parting words he left with her. I swear to God if I ever see him again I will kill him. We do know from updates that Fi provides us from time to time that he's engaged to be married some time next spring. I am not holding my breath for an invitation, but sadly I think Molly is.

Just as Molly had predicated Fi was pretty pissed off by the news, but by that first December and Christmas holiday season rolled around she had found a way to make peace and acceptances with it all. She told me one time, "Thank you for showing my mom that love is still alive and well out there." Fiona herself shall be starting her sophomore year at Washington State in a few weeks time and has been dating my brother since last Valentines Day. Everything is going great for them. I try not to think about the fact if they ever decide to have any children I'd be playing a duel roll of both uncle and step grandfather. Though the reactions that Fiona receives when she tells people she's technically dating her uncle are pretty damn priceless.

My father has been supportive of the marriage since almost the beginning, much to the adgrin of my mother. My dad has always been a relaxed go with the flow of the movements type of guy, once he saw both Molly and I were genuinely happy was all he needed. My mom's reaction was quite the opposite to say the least. Though four years have past she still has difficulty holding a civilianized conversation with either one of us for longer than three minutes. She'll only come over if she has absolutely has to or my father forces her.

Molly has retired from performing for the second time in her life; it was a very hard decision that was made after months of agonized thinking and discussions. One of the main factors was the fact she just didn't enjoy it much as she had 18 months prior. My career is going well and strong I have been playing with a local group for about a year. Still waiting for our lights of fame and general interest to shine bright on us. For now I am having fun and enjoy being able to stay near home.

Not only so that I may be near and with Molly but for the second factor of Molly's decision to retire, our daughter. Now had we actually planned on having kids? To be honest no. Much as I didn't mind kids I just never had seen myself as the parenting type. Molly's age was another reason we had decided not to go that route either. But it seemed as if Sydney had a completely different say in that matter. Not that I mind at all. I have learned to appreciate the bond all my female friends hold with their father's, it's absolutely amazing. Sid will be celebrating her second birthday in September; I try not to think about how fast time has already vanished.

All that has happened, all that will happen, and no one knows what it will be is an amazing adventure. Just to think none of this might never have happened if I hadn't written that letter, which is actually framed on the wall. I took a risk and received the greatest joy I could have ever imagined.


End file.
